Do All Men Cheat?

Photo by geralt via pixabay

Last week, I had the privilege to be part of a discussion on whether all men cheat and why members of the male gender find it difficult to maintain a lifestyle of sexual purity. One of the participants in the discussion had shared the story of a woman who said on national TV, that her husband probably cheats on her since all men cheat. I have heard several women make comments in line with this sentiment which philosophers term as  fallacy of hasty generalisation.

I do not believe that all men cheat but I don’t blame women who think their men cheat for thinking so. I am certain, like someone else pointed out in the forum, that their sentiments were formed based on their personal experiences or other people’s. I have seen a movie in which a man made his life’s purpose exposing women who were cheating on their husbands after nabbing his wife in the act. He vehemently preached that all women in the village cheated on their husbands and it was only a matter of time before every secret will be made plain.

My focus in this piece is not to delve into the issue of whether all men or women have infidelity flowing in their blood streams. I want to look at a deeper issue which is about the problems with our families, homes and marriages.

It is my understanding that our homes are microcosm of our society. Thus, any change that will occur in our society must first start in our homes.

If we cannot have men who are faithful to their wives with a resolution to lead a life of integrity, responsibility and being worthy examples to their children, in whom then lies our hope?

If we cannot have women who will embrace modesty, reveal the intelligence and graciousness of womanhood and radiate a beauty that comes from submission, where then is our hope?

If we cannot have young men and women who will value discipline, contentment and hard work not exchanging their destinies for an immediate but unsatisfying gratification of their lustful desires, how bleak is our future?

So, when I read again, Tolu Oguntowo’s life-message which he shared in an earlier post on this blog, God’s Man,  Seun Tella’s letter to the female child in her Dear Everian series, and Timi Yeseibo’s series on the Portrait of Motherhood, I knew there was hope for us. So, I just want to invite you to make a commitment to being different.

I want to ask you to seek knowledge on how you can be the man/woman God created you to be; how you can become the lady that bears so much influence on her nation like the Biblical Esther; how you can be a source of hope to the children around you.

I want to invite you to be part of a generation that is committed to the ideals of responsibility, discipline, hard work and a lifestyle of transforming rather than conforming to the corrupted culture around us. This little light of yours, will you be resolute and committed to making it shine, even in the face of intense darkness? Think about it.


Solutions Not Blame Trades.


I recently read the story of Gospel R n B singer, Fred Hammond and how his mother had confessed that she intended to abort him! The procedure—done in 1960 before abortions were legal—failed. Hammond’s mother returned for a second attempt but decided against the procedure; Hammond was later born in December 1960.*

I took some time to imagine if this minister of the gospel had been killed before he before he could even raise his hand to say hello to the world and how tragic it would have been, humanity not knowing what it has lost.

Can you imagine how much of greatness is being lost to abortion? Perhaps God already answered our prayer for a solution to a problem, by sending a child through a woman across the street and she had the child aborted!

Imagine if Mother Teresa or Martin Luther King Jnr. or Barack Obama or Winston Churchill or any other greatly respected world figure had been aborted. We cannot estimate how much loss the world would have suffered.

I like to ask people I speak to on the subjects of purpose and potential this question: “What would the world have missed if you had been aborted?” I believe the answer to that question points to the truth of every child’s deep significance and importance to the society. Yet, According to the WHO, 21.6 million women experience an unsafe abortion worldwide each year; 18.5 million of these occur in developing countries. 47 000 women die from complications of unsafe abortion each year. Deaths due to unsafe abortion remain close to 13% of all maternal deaths.**

Our society is full of problems, abortion is only one of these. We have problems related to leadership, health, and even the church is sick of heresies and lethal carnality.

I believe God sends every child conceived to solve a problem or advance a course. That makes you the solution to a problem. But how can you solve that problem if you don’t know it. This is why it is important we all connect to God through Jesus Christ so that we can discover why we are here and together bring the Kingdom of God on earth.

Jesus and his disciples together with Mary, his mother were at a wedding ceremony and a problem arose. Mary was quick to identify that problem. She not only identified the embarrassing exhaustion of the wine for the guests, she was very concerned about it. But she had no means to solve this problem. She was concerned but powerless. However, she knew Jesus could solve the problem, so she connected the servants to Jesus and instructed them to do whatever he commands. (John 2)

In a later chapter, John records the story of how the disciples also identified a problem, but instead of seeking the solution, they started looking for who to blame. Jesus cautioned them and told them to instead look out for what God wants to do about that problem.

Here is the conclusion of the matter. There is a particular problem you were created to solve. Have you identified it by a discovery of your purpose? Are you the one we have been praying for should we expect another?

While you have been equipped to solve a problem for the Glory of God and the advancement of our Kingdom, there are countless other problems in our society and like Mary, it is your duty to pray to God to send labourers and to connect as many people to God as possible. Jesus said we are the light of the world not of the church.

As Nigerians go to the polls, we must keep this in mind- the change we seek is not in a party or person but in the collective discovery of our purposes and reign of God’s Kingdom in every sphere of our society!

* en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Hammond

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