By all means, CONNECT!

Background Image by Alexander via flickr

The Kingdom of God is an organization whose topmost core value is intentionality of purpose.

This is why I believe that everyone that was in Jerusalem on the day the Holy Ghost descended must have been there on Heaven’s invitation to hear God glorified in his own language.

God desires every meeting in which He gathers people to hear His word, to be like that first meeting of the church; that each man will hear the Word in His own language- the language that only him by virtue of his past unique experiences, vision and exposure can understand.

God always desires to connect with people on a personal basis. He always desires to do more than speak but to connect.

We as speakers, preachers and messengers of the Gospel must understand this. We have to do more than speak. We must connect. In our daily conversations: speaking, writing, consulting or counseling engagements, we must reach out to people in their own language from their own models of the world.

To do this, authors like John Maxwell have suggested several principles. For instance, John Maxwell usually arrives at the venue of his engagement earlier to interact with the people who will be in his audience. He tries to memorize their names so that he can help them see that they matter to him. Matthew Femi-Adedoyin, Family life coach and Master Practitioner of the NLP teaches in his coaching classes that asking questions with the goal of understanding your client’s worldview can help you connect with them better. He says that to connect with people you must create rapport by inspiring a sense of commonality.

No doubt, these are great instructions from the experts. God clearly applied these principles everywhere he connected with people in the scriptures. This is the whole idea of speaking to people in their own language, isn’t it?

But beyond these, we must understand that our greatest help in connecting with people is the Holy Spirit. He alone is able to create such connections like Philip had with the Ethiopian Eunuch. He alone is able to give such insights into the past of a woman who was serially haunted  by her past failed relationship.

He alone can empower you to speak the right words and ask the right questions so that you can connect with your audiences and resonate with your listeners.

So, you must cultivate your relationship with Holy Spirit. Cherish your relationship with Him and yield to His impulses as He gently points and nudges your heart towards the issues God wants to attend to in blessing your audience.

We must by all means apply all known principles of communication and human relations in the day to day activities of our pursuit of purpose. However, most importantly, we must key into Heaven’s purpose for every of our conversations so that we speak just the right words in the right way and at the right time.

How has the Holy Spirit helped you to connect with people around you? What principles have you learnt to apply to make definite impact on the people you lead? Please share by leaving a comment.

I call you blessed!


Key Skills for Effective Purpose Delivery


In July this year, I started what I called JustPurposeDaily- a daily posting of tips on purpose and potentials for readers on social media, specifically WhatsApp, Facebook, and BBM. I had been doing that before then, but I became consistent with it and it now became an everyday endeavour.

What I want to share this week is a spill over from the ideas that I shared on Monday (yesterday) and Tuesday (today). I want to share with you three skills I believe are necessary for the effectiveness of the delivery of your life message. Skilfulness is a necessity for the fulfilment of your vision and these three things are very important.

1. Writing

Maya Angelou once remarked, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you!” Writing is an outlet for your story. You have to learn how to put your words together in writing and be able to have people read. You might never have a blog or write a book. But you’ll always have to write.

The World’s greatest messages have been preserved because they were written down. Your message must be preserved for generations to come. Writing offers you that opportunity. It is not until you have the skills of Chimamanda Adiche or, Chinua Achebe, William Faulkner, Rick Warren or any other best-selling author or writer before you can utilize this art. Just know how to communicate your ideas in a manner we can read and understand. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. You too can write!

2. Speaking

Just like writing, speaking is central to the effective delivery of your life message. Speaking is about communicating your thoughts and ideas to others with your mouth. Ben Johnson once noted, “to speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk but a wise man speaks.” Talk is easy. Everybody talks. You have to learn to make your words count. Most great leaders were great speakers. Jesus was a great speaker. Communication experts still adapt principles from his works. You may not become like Mark Twain or even be close to Martin Luther King Jnr. You just must learn how to share your opinion, connect with your audience and inspire people.

“If I went back to college again, I’d concentrate on two areas: learning to write and speak before an audience. Nothing in life is more important than the ability to communicate effectively.” Gerald Ford.

3. Listening

Margaret Miller once made a comment on the kind of conversations we seem to always have. She said, “Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.” Rebecca West also shared this sentiment when she said there was no such thing as conversation. She said there are only “intersecting monologues.”

Listeners are scarce. We all want to talk and want others to listen. Of this, I must admit I am also guilty. But we cannot make impact if we don’t value people and learn to actively listen to them with the intent of understanding their situation and thoughts. Over time, I have learnt that when people come to share things with me, they are not always looking for a macho and Super Man to singlehandedly take over the world for them. What they seek is a sympathetic ear.

Don’t be quick to prescribe before you diagnose. Seek first to understand and then be understood.

Knowing when to offer tea and sympathy or a tool kit and a stout rope instead is the skill to learn!”- Richard Templar, Rules of Life

Writing, speaking and listening are all ingredients for an effective communication skills.

While it seems that some folks are born with these skills, we can all learn how to reach out to people to communicate our ideas to them by writing, speaking and listening!

Let me know what you think. Do you agree that these three skills are essentials for the delivery of your life message? Which of them do you think you need to work on and which would you think you are above average? What other skills do you think are necessary for making meaningful impact? Please join the conversation. Leave a comment!

©2014, Alabi AimPurpose IfeOluwa
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